Chatting with my friend Bright & Curly the other day, we were discussing patterns we get stuck in or repeat experiences and behaviors we continue that do not serve our best interest. Why do we do this? Why do we divorce someone only to marry again the same person who is just dressed in different clothing. Why do we wake up and choose to live hopelessly because of the pain of our past, the injustices done to us? Why do we worry about all the things that could happen to us rather than accept the joy of the present? Why can’t we get off that Merry Go Round and hop on a new, happy, positive one?
I believe our soul desperately wants to grow here on this earth plane, and those patterns we keep seeing happen to us are opportunities to finally “get it.” When we “get it,” the experience through that particular pattern is no longer necessary. The good news is life does not happen to us, we create our lives. Sure, no one is exempt from pain and trial, but we do decide our attitude and how we can transform those trials. Do we use them to paralyze our lives, or do we use them to overcome and be victorious?
One of my patterns was rejection, hence the book I wrote which is in the editing process called “Rejection, tales from a recovered Man Addict.” I continued to be rejected in dating until I learned my own self-worth. My soul desperately wanted me to understand how beautiful and worthy I am. I could choose an amazing man because I was worth it. I was on the Merry Go Round of low self-esteem until I endured enough of the same scenery and experiences on that ride that I jumped off that one for good! It was a painful ride. I had gone round and round enough times, broken hearted, that I finally “got it,” took responsibility for my life, and got off. Now, I am on the Merry Go Round that honors myself in relationships and chooses better.
Let us consider other Merry Go Rounds. How about the Merry Go Round of Self-Pity. I have a friend I will call Vibrantly Healthy who recently started dating someone who was seriously injured in an accident a few years back, leaving him in a wheelchair with little use of his arms and legs. Why would Vibrantly Healthy choose what would appear to be a limiting experience in relationship? Because it is not limiting at all, it is fulfilling and fun and happy. Her boyfriend ignored the Merry Go Round of Self-Pity and hopped on Tenacious Positive Perseverance. When she shares about their relationship, his physical challenges never come up, I forget they exist.
How do we get off the Merry Go Rounds that are making us nausea and sick? I have a few suggestions that come straight from my workbook and journal which is now available on the various app stores. It is called “10 Steps to Greatness.”
1. Awaremess: get real and recognize the Merry Go Round you have been choosing to stay on. Within this step is forgiveness, we are all human and flawed trying to find our way, but that is no excuse to stay paralyzed in our debilitating thoughts and behaviors.
2. Belief: we have to believe we can live differently, choose better. We have to take a look at the beliefs that brought us to our present state. Do they need reforming?
3. Responsibility: we have to take 100% responsibility for our life. We create our lives. We are our own artists creating the masterpiece of our lives.
My journal goes deeper in discovering further facets into our decision making, and requires extensive writing and reflection. You can do it! I did it and am still doing it everyday! Let’s get on the Merry Go Round of Thriving!
Release to Unleash!
Which Merry Go Round do you need to get off?
Which Merry Go Round are you hopping on today?