“What is Next for Me?”
“I asked the Divine what was next for me. The answer I received was – Generous,” my friend Knowing revealed. I love my talks with Knowing. We share a desire to live out our purpose and to be as conscious as possible during our time here on Earth. We believe we came here not only to learn and grow ourselves, but to use what we have been given to aid others on their own path. I felt the depth behind the word “generous” even before she began to explain it’s profound connotation for herself. “Generous with what I have been given, whether it is my knowledge, acceptance, money, or what I own.” I joined in, building upon previous discussions and seeing how my own life could utilize generosity, adding tolerance, patience, and even leadership to the list.
There is a verse in the Bible that states, “To whom much is given, much is expected.” I thought about that verse as I contemplated the wealth of wisdom my life experience has brought me. I could not have proclaimed such a phrase had I not been so fiercely committed to overcoming the wounds of my past and stepping into the vibrant confident woman I was meant to be. Knowing has had a completely different journey than mine, but both of us arriving at a similar space of leadership. While our conversation unfolded, I realized how vitally important our roles in life had become. Many around us do not live consciously. Many live in ignorance. Many live in the pain of their past. Many are depressed and anxious. Many are overburdened. Asking, “What is next for me,” reminded me of our place. We overcomers must be living examples for those still stuck. We need to share generously with more love, more forbearance, more kindness, more everything, which translates into less moodiness, less anger, less intolerance, less of all the negative behaviors all of us flawed humans exude.
It seems like a tall order. Admittedly, a great frustration can be an underlying impatience and intolerance when people I love don’t choose the higher way, remaining in pain or adversity. How quickly I can become judge, when it is I who have been the biggest culprit of swimming in the muddy hole of my own self pity for far too long. Who am I to decide for someone else when they have had enough and are ready to move forward? I have to remember the abiding love and compassion from many that helped me live another day better than the day before.
In conjunction with Knowing’s pivotal announcement, I had experienced my own revelation that rocked my core in the best way possible. Allow me to take you on this journey.
The center for Intuitive Development, yes there exists such a formidable place where they teach you how to listen to your gut instinct, was holding their monthly Intuitive Tuesday night gathering. I invited a friend of mine to join me. I had not been to the center in a few months, so it was a bit of a reunion of sorts for me with robust smiles and hugs greeting my every step into the main room until we took our seats. The evening was lovely, filled with many people having gained more guidance on how to construct a life conducive to fulfilling their hearts needs and desires.
My friend sent me a text thanking me for taking him. He also noted how much everyone loved me. I smiled, knowing how loved I do feel, but also how much love I have in return for my friends at the center and everyone else in my life. I love big. I began to ponder his observation. Why do people love me? I even asked him what his thoughts were on this apparent mutual love exchange. He said it was because I am pure and bright. There was more to it, but I did not quite know what yet. The revelation began taking shape. Prior to the last 4 years, I did not feel loved. I thought I was always the lover, not the lovee. I felt very alone, no one seemed to care enough. I was invisible and not important. In this moment, it dropped in: I LOVE MYSELF! TRUE LOVE CANNOT EXIST UNLESS I LOVE MYSELF. In my pursuit of changing my life by every means possible, I fell in love with me. The countless hours I had spent in front of the mirror saying “I love you, your beautiful,” and writing the same sentiment and every variant of it in my journal countless times, had come true! The bliss of my truth settled in my soul and I was elated at the magnificent ramifications I instantly saw shooting off in every direction. I felt myself soar through the heavens with delight, bursting out my jet stream like Walle and Eve gleefully twirling around space when they discovered their love for each other. People love me because I love me first. I believe I am valuable and important. And only because I feel this way toward myself, can I honestly love and feel that way toward them. This is not an arrogant kind of love, do not be mistaken. This is a child of God, significant, meaningful, healthy, beautiful, I have a purpose, kind of love. Yes, I have been on a fairly consistent upward climb of achieving love for myself, but similar to how Knowing had been generous prior to her recent divine mission, the revelations inhabited a much deeper residence now. So deep, I felt reborn.
Someone that loves themself, does not invest in the past anymore, they have loved themselves enough to move forward. When we hold onto hurt and pain, the walking wounded, a lot of time and energy is invested in staying in that space. Loving self frees you from pain and makes room to love others more easily and freely. This is the huge chasm I noticed as I sat feeling so loved and conversely loving that night. Because I have let go of all the crap, there is so much more room inside me to love others.
Self-love means loving myself enough to make great choices in every aspect of my life.
What is next for you? Do you have the guts to ask? Anticipate amazing things, amazing things will return.
Release to Unleash!
Do you have enough room to love easily and freely?
If not, how can you start?
What is your experience in self-love?