I have experienced great love, the earth tilting on its axis kind of love, lightening striking and profound declarations from my bequeathed kind of love. Love feelings so intense, they have made our hearts literally ache when not near one another. Such a severe longing to be connected and one with that soul, where we feel like we are finally breathing the freshest air we have ever breathed just to be in each others presence. They did not last, I have my suppositions as to why, which I will dissect momentarily. The fairytale does not exist because we are flawed. Every single one of us is flawed. We are human. Inherent in our humanity is imperfection. To expect 2 imperfect people to come together and create a romantic perfect utopia, is impossible. What I have come to realize though, in the midst of this responsible, hectic filled life, we can come together and create fairytale moments. Whether a new love, or one spanning many years, fairytale moments are created when we open our hearts with this other flawed human in complete acceptance and love.
My new definition of love: 2 flawed people choosing to love each other any way. We have to love the good and the bad. Vital to the success of this love formula is actualized persons that know who they are and the core values they need in a mate. When our core values are not met by our mate, you might as well prepare the divorce papers in advance or settle for a life of strife. Without core values, the little things are monumentally taxing. When core values are met, the little things are breezy. To know your core values, you must know yourself, which is why I shout from the roof tops that the road to a fulfilled life is discovering and embracing how great we really are. Our wonderful yet flawed self.
Flawed. I need to expound on this concept and its obvious repercussions. Some would like to hide behind this truth in order to stay lazy or stuck in old negative behaviors that can be harmful to one’s self or others. This type of flawed person is not who I am referencing in my analogy. I am referring to the conscious individual that recognizes their humanity, but strives to be a better person.
We are flawed in different areas. Ahhh, here is where the relief comes in. Relationships provide the ability to counterbalance our flaws. Often times, the areas we need some work, our mate has mastered and vice versa. A conscious individual will embrace this opportunity, cherish their mate, and grow more balanced because of it.
I have accepted the challenge of making my life, flaws and all, transparent to my audience. I am willing to be judged by exposing my true self. I vehemently believe that my truth and honesty is sometimes the catalyst needed for others to recognize that it is okay to be imperfect, in whatever capacity that may be. My current happy, optimistic existence is a true testament of my ability to overcome anything, divorce, addiction, abuse, on and on. We do not have to live stifled or paralyzed by our choices or the unfair things done to us. I know my purpose on this planet, even with my flawed status, is to be a light to others in overcoming unhealthy behaviors and ways of thinking, finding their magnificent selves.
Back up to address the short lived, whirlwind, fairytale romances that have decorated my past. I was still relying on men to make me feel good about myself. This is too much emotional baggage for most men to carry. What I found is, the men that fell hard and fast for me, had a good amount of their own emotional baggage. Two unhealed emotional baggage ridden people can be a recipe for disaster. For me, it was. More than once I had men declare their love for me before meeting me, writing intense prose, declaring their strong feelings. None of these relationships lasted longer than 6 weeks.
I actually do believe in the fairytale, but it is not of a knight in shining armor coming to save me from myself and my life, take me to his castle, and we live happily ever after. The fairytale occurs when 2 people do not need each other to feel good about themselves. They are 2 people that have self-love, and desire companionship, romance, and love with another soul. Its kinda like the cherry on top the already delicious sundae.
With self-awareness and self-love, comes wisdom.
Release to Unleash!
Where are you flawed?
Do you allow yourself to be flawed but working on being better too?