Self-Esteem dictates EVERY DECISION WE MAKE
Our self-esteem dictates the partners we choose, our job, the clothes we wear, our children’s security, on and on. It can look different for each of us. The show What Not To Wear caught my attention the other day. Their prospective girl intentionally flaunted high end labels in everything she wore. Upon interviewing her, she revealed that she was a loser in high school. She was not going to be a loser anymore. Her way of hiding her “loserness” was to present herself with these high fashion labels. It was beautiful to see her transform in the short period of time she spent doing the show. Are wearing labels wrong? Of course not, why she was wearing them exposed her insecurities. Another person might possibly not dress up because they don’t feel good enough about themselves to look good.
I had to become number 1 in my job to feel good about me, and I wanted approval from my boss. You could retort, but isn’t it good to have goals, achieve them, and want to please your boss? Yes, but let’s get at the why. I had very low self-esteem. I overworked, causing physical illness to achieve this goal, because my self-esteem was dependent upon succeeding. If I valued myself more, I could create attainable goals, and not need to kill myself to accomplish them. When we value ourselves, we do not put our health or anyone else’s in jeopardy.
One of the most prolific areas we can measure self-esteem is by the partners we choose. People who choose abusive partners, clearly have little regard for themselves. No one is perfect, but your level of self-esteem tends to attract the same level of self-esteem. My book is an entire representation of this reality. I chose men according to how I felt about me. The men I chose did not respect or value me. How could they? I did not respect and value myself. I write these blogs in hopes to help most specifically in the area of relationships. Raising your self-esteem will automatically raise the bar in the potential mates you entertain. It is really quite magical and wonderful. I know because I have experienced it.
“I want to make sure you feel valued and a priority,” our conversation ensued as my significant other voiced his concern about the upcoming months while he would be steeped in a time consuming commitment. I am so grateful for his genuine sentiment. I value myself enough now that I know I could not be with someone who did not display or voice this level of care. It is as if my whole system has been recalibrated. It is natural for me to feel worthy, where once I took mere scraps of attention.
How does one improve their self-esteem? Well, I could simply say, go buy my e-journal from the app store and work it! I have discovered, unfortunately, the masses stay stuck because it is tons of work to overcome our weaknesses. It entails exposing all or our vulnerabilities and discovering why we have them, and then seeking actions steps to support the new empowering beliefs.
How about some simple ways to start believing we are Magnificent:
1. Write and say everyday: I am a unique vital gift to this world. I am beautiful. I am lovable. I deserve love.
Have fun with this exercise, make up all kinds of gleeful sentences. I guarantee, you will feel silly and uncomfortable. But, I ask you, do you want a better life? Do you want a partner to value you? Then do it! Because you have to value you first!
2. Treat yourself the way you would like to be treated. Take extra care in all aspects of caring for yourself.
3. Set the intention to make someone’s day, everyday, and do it. When we have low self-esteem, we can tend to be self-consumed. Being other oriented, helps us get out of our poor me cycle in our heads, and gets us looking outward at how we can make a positive impact in our world.
Do the above 3 things for 30 days, and watch your thoughts, attitude, and life shift for the better. I promise.
I did these types of things relentlessly for a few years, without fail. They now reside in me and I simply carry this energy. My life is the above, everyday, virtually effortlessly.
Sunshine and Smiles,