Life happens to all of us. No one is exempt from feeling the full spectrum of all that life presents. We all live and die with all sorts of experiences in between.
Why is it some handle life with so much grace? Laughter even? While others are in a constant state of why me, complaining, and blaming?
I can offer my own humble answer. I have experienced life on two sides of a fence. The first part of my life was spent in self-loathing. In this space, I continued to carry childhood trauma and negative experiences into my adulthood, blaming, making excuses, trying to find value in things, status and relationships. When I realized those beliefs and behaviors kept me in the spiral of unhappiness, unfulfillment, and disappointment, I declared enough and began a zealous warpath toward self-discovery and 100% responsibility for my life.
The transformation has taken me to a whole new pasture on the other side of the fence. I reside in self-love, peace, contentment, and a fulfillment beyond words. Fear and worry have been extinguished. I deeply know the difference in living in both places, and I highly recommend the grueling yet amazing journey of self-love.
How does my title coincide with fences and self-love?
Let me share how illness on this side of the fence has me laughing with it.
I have been having pain in one of my molars. The typical symptoms that usually mean: a root canal is inevitable. I visited my good friend who happens to be a dentist and he confirmed my initial diagnoses. He does not do root canals, and I didn’t like the price of them at his office. My adventurous, creative spirit took over, as it has before to be able to follow my passions without breaking the bank, and I asked the Divine for a solution. Sure enough, a close friend recommended the dental school here on our side of town. I was thrilled. Here is another way the 2 sides of the fence enter. On the beautiful side I live now, I am excited to go to the dental school; a new experience, be amongst academia, the excitement of people learning their craft from experts, the whole atmosphere, I could not wait to go. Many people who live on the other side of the fence would simply never risk going to such a place. What if’s and fear infiltrate their psyche.
I went. I felt like I was at a 5 star resort for dental care. Everyone, and I mean everyone, was phenomenal. I also must attest to the fact that I had a positive, eager attitude toward the experience as well. I felt like I made a new friend with the 3rd year dental student who would be in charge, along with the highly professional and affirming Doctor who would be overseeing the whole treatment.
No stone was left unturned, as a more comprehensive x-ray of my mouth required a whole head panoramic view. While the Doctor and students studied my film, he asked, “do you have high cholesterol.” What an odd question, “I don’t think so, I’ve never had it checked. I have low blood pressure, exercise everyday, and eat really healthy,” I responded. “You have plaque build up in your carotid artery. We will give you the film so you can take it to a cardiologist.”
Oddly, this type of news did not phase me. I went about my day. Lunch with a friend, laughter and enjoyment abounded. Not once did I complain or worry. I felt no need to engage in such thoughts are behaviors. My growth has taken me to a place of trust in the Divine, completely, even for my health. I saw it as visit to my cardiologist, that’s it. Nothing attached to it from fear. It is what it is and it will be what it will be. Installing fear, worry, and anxiety around it only creates an unsettled unhappiness in my life. I simply do not believe in including those thoughts into it. I left them on the other side of the fence, for they would steal my joy in present day living. Will this take me out? I doubt it, but the plan is the plan. I am living vibrant and whole right now, and nothing can take that away unless I allow to let it. I simple do not allow it.
I love living in this wonderful pasture. Not only do I choose not to visit the other side with its anxieties, it has become natural for me not to.
This type of attitude will make you strange to the masses. But, that’s okay, because the masses are stuck. Be willing to be different. I have compassion for the masses, which is why I am here, writing this blog. Those who are on the path to self-love, the Divine will come galloping in with words, thoughts, actions. situations and so on to help them continue. Who knows, maybe these words here offer some inspiration.
Life happens. How we allow it to affect us, is all up to us. Join me. Find yourself, live in your self-love, and live on this side of the fence.
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Release to Unleash
How do you handle life?
What side of the fence are you on?