I Know Nothing…Confessions of a Spiritual Zealot
This growth thing brings me to so much enlightenment. The organizational and zealous part of me wants to create formulas so everyone can partake of its bright, shiny goodness. Before I know it, another truth knocks on my door, not necessarily changing the previous one, but enhancing and expanding it so greatly, that I don’t quite recognize it anymore. Oh, and then throw in experiencing these so called truths in real life and time. Truth in action in my interactions and behaviors. Having those difficult conversations, connecting with other souls, where they are, where I am, and somehow finding common ground, or not.
I thought to myself: I know nothing. Really. Sure I could expound on the things I do daily to create balance, to feel loved, to bring love to others, but that is what works for me, I think. Sometimes, it doesn’t. Sometimes I feel as stuck and confused as those I wish to help unstuck. Where are you? What have you been through? What have you thought? Where are you headed? Where do you want to be? Are you afraid? I want to say, “you don’t have to be afraid” But, sometimes I am afraid too.
Part of me wants to close my laptop and say, “I have nothing to say.” Part of me says, “how quickly you forget your journey, where you have been and where you are now.”
“They” say its a journey. And I guess they are right. For I have been mentored by many on their journey. They are not the person they once were. They too have grown and expanded in innumerable ways. I read them or was lead by them at a point in time when they spoke to me.
What I have found to be amazing about this journey, is that it is so humanly flawed. Thank goodness, for how could humanity relate to one another in perfection. We are imperfect, seeking perfection. A hopeless cause. Why go on the cause? Because, life gets better. More peace does come. Less time in fear does come. Pain becomes more tolerable. Less time feeling bad does come. Joy comes. Being and feeling loved does come. Freedom to be authentic comes. This fruit of the journey, all the truth with confusion, the ebb and flow, is worth every second on the road.
Where you are on the road, is not for me to know or decide for you. I am here. I am on my journey, and this is my now, you are in your now. I will keep writing, even if it is simply to provide momentary clarity for me.