“I Can’t Wait for Patience!”
“This is big for you Kim. Every time you are impatient, you experience loss,” my mentor cautioned.
I went home and thought about it. Holy Cow how right she was. As far as my earliest memory, my life is decorated with impatience and loss. I have lost relationships and way too much money for me to calculate here, due to impatience. Prime examples include: continueing to date someone I know is not a match because I am tired of the time it will take to meet someone else, or stay with someone I shouldn’t because I think its too late – the bed was already made – I might as well lay in it (these first 2 I am proud to say I don’t do anymore!), impatient in my own growth – rushing through the process, making big financial decisions quick -not considering all of the options or just letting it stew, sending an email before I should – and wishing I could retrieve it shortly after pressing send, sometimes offering financial generosity to those that appear in need but in fact just duped me, be quick to join a group that sounds fun and has a membership fee – only to discover its really not a match for me, wanting everyone to operate at my pace and in my time, and the list goes on…
Of course my life is also decorated with other wonderful things like joy, love, and yes, sometimes patience. But how huge was this lack of patience and the consequences of loss?…GIGANTIC!
- Dang, that’s a bummer.
- Shoot, I kinda regret a lot.
- Okay, let’s get present. I forgive myself.
- Today is a new day. I am intentionally practicing Patience today.
- I am telling my spiritual troop of my challenge so they can encourage and support my change.
One could certainly stay in regret and misery upon learning and realizing how they have messed up. What good does staying in that negative place do? And, we are human, We do mess up. But we can make this moment different than the last. What a gift. I know it may sound easy and trite, but I have experienced so much transformation in my life, that I can convert negativity into positivity pretty quick these days. It works, and life is better. I’m all in for making life better.
Since this admonishment from my friend roughly 3 months ago, my day to day living has revealed the truth of her statement more than I care to acknowledge. The Divine desires me to trust and live contentedly in my decisions, therefore many opportunities have come my way to practice, improve, and hopefully overcome impatience. This is the way. The Universe is perfect, and moves us toward perfection if we cooperate. Situations have arrived that were tailor made just for my impatience. Unfortunately, I continue to blow it more than I conquer. Uff dah! I can’t wait for Patience.
I am Impatient about achieving Patience!
What can I do? The idealist in me has no time to wait.
Since my natural pattern is to be impatient, I must start a new pattern and look at Patience differently. New patterns always feel strange at first. One of my circle of accountability friends said it succinctly, “Change requires feeling a tiny bit uncomfortable.” I suppose that is a big reason why many would opt out of change. It feels so foreign, and our ego likes us to stay put.
I asked myself: “Why am I impatient?”
- I don’t like sitting in – I don’t know land.
- I don’t like sitting in wait. The time is now.
- I don’t like uncertainty.
- I love using my gut reaction.
I shared these out loud with my client Wise. I knew she would have a nugget of awesomeness for me.
- You are very patient with people Kim. You are not patient in process. I am patient in process, but not people. (Wow, great observation. I believed this to be very true and being able to compare the both of us helped me see my strength.)
- There is learning in the middle. You can use your gut reaction, but you do not have to act upon it immediately. Sometimes our gut reaction requires time to unfold. Balance is needed here. Be willing to find value in the in between.
She’s so wise. I tend toward all or nothing. I often forget about balance. I forget that sometimes we need to make room for the journey. Now, can be a journey.
To help me solidify my commitment to Patience, I wrote this blog and I am making a plan. I make it fun by creating my own concepts to help facilitate the change.
My Patience Plan
I am making friends with uncertainty. When I am feeling uncertain, I will talk to it. “Hello uncertainty, I hear you complaining. I feel your fear. But, today I am going to be confident in my uncertainty. I trust the Divine. Everything will work out as it should. I am sitting still today.”
I will tell my gut reaction, “Yes, I hear you. And I can feel you telling me to make sure I hear all of what you are saying.”
I will tell Patience, “I welcome you. You are beautiful. You are good. You are building character in me. Thank you.”
Sunshine and Smiles,