How do Singles Create Yin & Yang?
Yin and yang popped in my head the other night as I lay contemplating the utterly frustrating details of a teenage moment with my son. I take note when things “pop into my head.” These are gifts from the heavens. Many of us dismiss much guidance thinking help comes in grandiose ways. Nope, a thought arriving out of no where is one simple yet profound way.
Yin and yang? Hmmm. Interesting. I wonder why? I looked it up.
“Yin and yang can be thought of as complementary (rather than opposing) forces that interact to form a dynamic system in which the whole is greater than the assembled parts. Everything has both yin and yang aspects.”
The Personal Tao said:
“Yin and yang are also the starting point for change. So when you split something into two halves – yin / yang, it upsets the equilibrium of wholeness.”
OOOOOOh, I see. I was receiving comfort and with further reflection, great wisdom. Truth always sets us free because it awakens us. Now that I was awake to the reality of the situation, I could plan action.
In the exchange with my son, I longed for help. I needed my yang to come along beside me. I am a woman, and we are emotional. I sure could have used masculine energy to aid in counterbalancing all of my emotions while attempting to elicit respectful behavior from my son. My childhood remembrance of, “Wait until your Dad gets home,” and the dread of that phrase as its reality creeped through my veins. But, my Mom needed him, and it worked.
Yin/yang comforted me because I cut myself a break. I’m one parent, and two create balance in all. I cannot do the work of two. I can only do the best I can. One could be depressed by such a revelation. This could get complicated, but hang with me for a second. Inside of me, there is yin and yang. Yin and yang is infinite. But in that moment, I had a lot of yin and lacked any resemblance of yang. I will get to solutions in a second.
A light bulb went on regarding being single. In fact, my first thought was to write a blog stating, “embracing loneliness is bull s–t.” I can be abrupt when a truth first crosses my path. I had felt myself needing male energy via companionship and sexually. In fact, I realized that sex is the greatest manifestation of yin and yang beautifully swirling in every kiss, touch, and thrust. Yes, I proudly used the word “need.” I believe singles are afraid to say the word “need” for fear of appearing “needy.’ In light of my recent views of yin and yang, I will not deny the natural aspects of needing that balance. I was needing yang. Being a sexual being that also understands yin and yang, I admit my desire.
But wait a minute, there is yin and yang inside loneliness too. There are times when we have too much yang, and being alone can balance our yin.
1. Listen to our feelings and emotions. Don’t make them wrong or be harsh with ourselves. Sometimes we are limited and need to get creative, seeking out ways to create balance.
2. Be gentle with ourselves. Sometimes it will be hard and we may feel alone. Say hello to the feelings, be kind to ourselves, and pray, seek options to relieve the pain.
3. Recognize if we need more yin, yang, or less yin or yang and act accordingly.
4. As a single woman, I may need to spend some time with my male friends. I may need to seek out a male mentor or counselor for my son.. We have to find other avenues, like church or other groups to get more yang for ourselves or our children (or vice versa if you need yin.)
I like how the Personal Tao summarized yin yang:
“Yin Yang is a system of recognizing how to separate out patterns in our life while also relaxing to accept the overall whole and complete nature of the Tao.”
Be intentional about recognizing your need for yin yang balance!
Sunshine and Smiles,