Can Hopeless Romantic Love Last? Exist?
Hopeful or Hopeless?
I often wondered why society referred to the lofty dreamer in search of lightening striking love as hopeless. I prefer the term hopeful. I even considered titling my prospective book, “Tales from a Hopeful Romantic.” We have hope on our pilgrimage to love, not hopelessness.
But, when reviewing my history of love, I can see why society deems it “hopeless,” for none of my earth tilting on its axis love affairs have lasted. Is it irrational and laughable to society that I still believe the right one will come along and it will be amazing? If so, then call me hopeless, but I personally visualize myself as hopeful.
We hopeful romantics have massive amounts of hope for love. With all the disappointments and heartbreaks, we still have hope. Are we crazy? Irrational? Just plain stupid?
I have been thrown away like a piece of garbage on more than one occasion from the very same men that professed “I didn’t think you existed. I had given up on this being possible.” I have experienced the kind of love that makes every hair on your body stand up and every cell feel transcendentally alive. The kind of love where the compatibilities extend into the remotes areas of my desires, where no guidance is needed to explain how to love me. It is just there, naturally, between us. Effortless. Those who have not experienced this kind of love will make comments similar to, “It’s always like that in the beginning.” No its not. There is a difference. I have had many beginnings. They are not all the same.
The Recipe for Hopeless Romantic Love
I believe the ingredients for the kind of love I described above is first and foremost; 2 hopeless romantics. In baking, you cannot get your desired outcome without using the specified ingredients. The same is true of this love. There also must exist compatibility to the extent that you are in awe of how common your values, desires, and lifestyle choices match. Sure, there are always some enticing differences, but they are not irritating or go against your core beliefs. You’re intrigued to be exposed to and learn more about them to expand yourself.
What makes someone a Hopeless Romantic?
We are completely open.
We are completely vulnerable.
We are completely accepting of our glorious lover.
We have completely cast aside any fear to love.
We completely throw caution to the wind.
We completely reveal our hearts, in those moments, to engage fully with our lover.
Imagine this description in 2 joined lovers: it is Earth tilting, lightening striking love. If one person in this party opts out of any of these traits, the recipe fails. You will have decent love, maybe even above average, but it will not be off the charts, soul soaring, I can’t believe this could be happening, love.
Okay, we have sufficiently defined Hopeless Romantic love. Can it last?
Speaking for myself, I say absolutely. Here is where I may be dismissed by hopeless romantic skeptics, and that is just fine.
Why do I still believe?
In the most basic simplistic terms, I believe hopeless romantic love can last if it involves 2 closely equal conscious souls. If one hopeless romantic has low self-esteem, has not healed their past, stands burdened by pain from others or their own decisions, but the other lover has cleared out this baggage; yes you can experience hopeless romantic love but it will not last. It is impossible. I have been loved by many of this variety. I know first hand that these men had a burning desire to have this kind of love, but the capability to sustain it completely depended upon the amount of personal healing that had transpired in their soul, which was minimal at most. A person can show up appearing healed, time reveals quite quickly actually, whether they have or not. People will reveal their true colors. You will find it in how they speak of their past. You will find it in how they live their present. Be more concerned with this information than uniting in your amazing chemistry first.
We can all choose to grow or remain stagnant, repeating patterns. I choose to grow, thus I had to take a very close look at my pattern of experiencing this amazing love but it not lasting. I realized I can be my fully hopeful romantic self, opening my heart and giving it to my love, only after I have spent enough time with them to see where they truly live. Do they live in conscious love, or did they just visit for awhile during the first stages of meeting me?
Love On Hopeful Romantics! Consider patience and using your wisdom first before giving your heart away.
Sunshine & Smiles,